Madden Retires, Caliendo Stock Plummets
Sunday, April 26, 2009
After decades of award-winning color commentary, NFL legend John Madden announced his retirement from television this past week, making Super Bowl XLIII his final telecast.
A spokesman for video game juggernaut EA Sports told the press that the company is now in the process of developing a new game based on John Madden's golden years.
*** Be sure to check out my blog for "Sports Soup." ***
Pacquiao's Poached Pooch Set Him Loose
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
According to the Daily Star (and those guys are rarely wrong), superstar boxer Manny Pacquiao took up boxing because his dad ate his dog.
How exactly did that occur? Apparently, Pacquiao grew up extremely poor in the Philippines - possibly because Pacquiao's dad blew his entire life savings buying up vowels. Says Pacquiao's trainer, Freddie Roach, one day poor Manny walked in on his dad eating his dog, which caused him to run away from home and become a boxer.
It's a real shame Pacquiao had to drop out of school because he would've had the perfect excuse to use on his teachers: "You see, my dog ate my homework...and then my dad ate my dog..."
But, thankfully, Pac-Man survived the mean streets of Manila and became one of the greatest boxers the world has ever known. No word yet on what kind of dog Manny used to have. Wouldn't it be strange if it was a Boxer?
*** Be sure to check out my blog for "Sports Soup."
How exactly did that occur? Apparently, Pacquiao grew up extremely poor in the Philippines - possibly because Pacquiao's dad blew his entire life savings buying up vowels. Says Pacquiao's trainer, Freddie Roach, one day poor Manny walked in on his dad eating his dog, which caused him to run away from home and become a boxer.
It's a real shame Pacquiao had to drop out of school because he would've had the perfect excuse to use on his teachers: "You see, my dog ate my homework...and then my dad ate my dog..."
But, thankfully, Pac-Man survived the mean streets of Manila and became one of the greatest boxers the world has ever known. No word yet on what kind of dog Manny used to have. Wouldn't it be strange if it was a Boxer?
*** Be sure to check out my blog for "Sports Soup."
Soccer Fan Gets his Kicks Behind Reporter
Friday, April 3, 2009
Check out this soccer fooligan celebrating his team's victory by air thrusting away behind a female reporter and simulating what can only be described in the news biz as the "this just in" dance.
Live television - "Helping jackasses destroy reporters' careers since 1947."
Live television - "Helping jackasses destroy reporters' careers since 1947."
The Shiite Hit the Fan
Monday, March 23, 2009
An Iraqi soccer player from the village of Annana was killed by a stray bullet when one of his team's biggest fans fired off several rounds to celebrate their victory over Sinjar, a neighboring village.
Apparently, it's customary for Iraqis to launch into a blaze of triumphal gunfire after defeating a major rival. Then again, it's also customary for Iraqis to launch into a blaze of gunfire for pretty much any occasion.
Police arrested the suspected killer, who is expected to face the stiffest penalty possible for his indiscretion. The family of the slain soccer hero celebrated the news of justice with a blaze of triumphal gunfire, which, unfortunately, resulted in the death of several more people.
Apparently, it's customary for Iraqis to launch into a blaze of triumphal gunfire after defeating a major rival. Then again, it's also customary for Iraqis to launch into a blaze of gunfire for pretty much any occasion.
Police arrested the suspected killer, who is expected to face the stiffest penalty possible for his indiscretion. The family of the slain soccer hero celebrated the news of justice with a blaze of triumphal gunfire, which, unfortunately, resulted in the death of several more people.
President Obama has Large Shoes to Fill
Monday, March 2, 2009
President Obama received an autographed Shaquille O'Neil basketball shoe upon his recent arrival to Phoenix. Hearing the news, President Bush said, "Big deal. I'm also greeted with shoes wherever I travel."
Southwest Commercial Parody - Racist Edition
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Here's a Southwest commercial spoof that I made along with Cordell Pace, Michael Nelson, and Shawn Carlow.
Southwest Commercial Spoof - watch more funny videos
Milk Money
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A friend of mine refuses to see the movie "Milk" because of his intolerance. Not intolerance towards gays - lactose intolerance. He is willing to see the movie about the first openly gay Asian congressman - "Soy Milk."
Not Suited for a Recession
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Even in the midst of these rough economic times, there are still ultra high-end products coming out. The Italian label Brioni has introduced a $43,000 suit, which is a total rip-off. I saw that exact same suit selling at Ross for only $29,000.
Some "Dirt" on Courtney Cox-Arquette
Saturday, January 24, 2009
In a recent interview, Courtney Cox-Arquette revealed that her marriage is not easy, but "divorce is not an option." In other words, I'd sleep with one eye open, David!
Interesting fact about Courtney... If she were to remarry and ended up with one of the Zucker brothers, she would become Courtney Cox-Zucker!
Interesting fact about Courtney... If she were to remarry and ended up with one of the Zucker brothers, she would become Courtney Cox-Zucker!
The Blacker the Berry...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Barack Obama convinced his security staff to let him keep his beloved Blackberry. Interesting fact about Obama's Blackberry... it's actually only half black.
Farewell Tribute to Great Moments In Presidential Speeches
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
While I am excited about the Obama presidency, I couldn't help but reminisce about President Bush and his many contributions to the world of comedy. Here are some of those gems as presented on The Late Show.
Going Ape
Monday, January 19, 2009
This is a clip from one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. I guess when you mix orangutans with Danny Devito and Tony Danza, good things happen. Then again, you mix orangutans with just about anything, and good things happen.
Frosty Ol' Nixon
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I just saw "Frost Nixon," and I have to admit that until now I had never even heard of those interviews. Based on the title, I thought I was going in to see a movie about cryogenics and Nixon coming back to life to kick some ass.
Hungarian Puli Sheep Dog
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Lame Duck has to Duck
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
An Iraqi reporter called President Bush a "dog" and threw his shoes at him on Sunday. Throwing shoes is considered a horrible insult in Iraq, especially since most Iraqi citizens only have one pair.
Pistol Packin' Granny... Minus the Pistol
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sarcasm Deficiency?
Researchers at the University of New South Wales found that patients suffering from dementia cannot detect when someone is being sarcastic. However, according to patients with dementia, the real problem is that researchers at New South Wales totally suck at sarcasm.
Is it really a good idea to let old people fence?
Is it really a good idea to let old people fence?
Canned Juice
Monday, December 8, 2008
Lawyers for OJ Simpson have appealed his conviction for armed robbery, partly on the grounds that OJ did not have a jury of his peers. Do you believe that? Twelve jury members, and not one of them a murderer!
Ugandan Booby Trap
Monday, December 1, 2008
Ugandan police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their breasts to knock their victims unconscious. A spokesman for the government was ecstatic, however, saying this is one instance where an increase in crime may actually boost tourism.
The Daily Show Visits Sarah Palin Country
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wow, maybe being mayor of Wasilla, Alaska isn't quite as impressive as it sounds...
Happy the Dog Bites Vagina... and Crotches in General
Friday, October 17, 2008
Lion Rides Horse... Just the Way Nature Intended
Friday, October 10, 2008
A circus in China is training lions and tigers to ride horses. Where the hell was this during the Olympic opening ceremonies?!
See If You Can Spot the Misplaced White Guy
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I'll give you a hint... he's not standing in the middle or on the left.
Matt Lauer's Horrendous Faux Pas
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
If you're a fan of painful awkwardness, then you'll probably enjoy this.
Genius Pees on Electric Fence
Monday, October 6, 2008
For those who wish to experience the joy of pissing fire without having to acquire an STD.
Moron Pees on Electric Fence - Watch more free videos
Moron Pees on Electric Fence - Watch more free videos
Who Wants to Interview Mike Litoris?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I'm truly impressed that this guy doesn't go by "Michael."
Not the Most Observant Driver
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
This guy's stupidity overrides his right to be pissed off.
Car Doesn't Notice Kids Skate Ramp - Watch more free videos
Car Doesn't Notice Kids Skate Ramp - Watch more free videos
Egyptian Prisoners Order Takeout
Monday, September 29, 2008
A prison in Cairo is allowing inmates to order takeout food from restaurants. If I'm a prisoner, I'm thinking, "You know what, fellas... I'll just go ahead and pick the food up myself. Don't worry about delivery."
Lots of Junk Under the Trunk
Saturday, September 27, 2008
It's a dirty job, but... does somebody REALLY have to do this??? And how do they decide which guy goes up the elephant's ass? I'm guessing this is one game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" you don't want to lose.
Head of Skate
Thursday, September 25, 2008
We all knew it was just a matter of time till Disney grabbed a hold of the Sarah Palin story.
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